Rantings From The Booth

Honestly, none.

However...

After tonight's Game Show Awards, I am somewhat tempted to commit theft. There was a category for Best Game Show and the nominees were 'Deal or No Deal' (of course), 'The Price is Right,' 'Jeopardy,' 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?' and 'Wheel of Fortune.'

'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader' won.

I could not believe this either. A show with those annoying children smiling for the camera while they show just how unintelligent some of this country's citizens are. Citizens that are probably cherry picked for their stupidity, mind you. While I don't mind when morons are brought down a peg, I don't enjoy seeing cutesy children doing so.

Of course, I do believe our show was robbed. Had it lost to more respectable competition such as 'Jeopardy' I wouldn't have minded. I enjoy that program though sometimes I find the questions to be of little challenge to someone of superior intellect such as myself. 'The Price is Right' has been on for over thirty-five years. Had we lost to that show, I wouldn't have minded either. It's been a staple of the game show community for decades. Yes, the premise is simplistic enough but it must do something right to continue to survive. My sentiments would be similar for losing to 'Wheel of Fortune' as well. Yes, it's simplistic but it's another staple of the game show community.

I have no idea how '5th Grader' won. It shouldn't have. If it were up to me, I'd rectify the situation by giving the award to a much more worthy show.

No, I wouldn't really steal the trophy from Jeff Foxworthy. But I was nearly tempted to do so once his show was revealed to be the winner.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count: 293

ooc: No offense is meant to muses from any of the shows mentioned in this rant. Remember the Banker is a bitter, egotistical individual. No show on NBC's schedule is safe, not even the one my other muse is on. The Banker's views don't match mine.

Also, there will be some canon puncturing as well, given the Banker would be looking at NBC's schedule as it really exists. Just wanted to preface this entry with proper disclaimers just in case. ^^;

I don't understand why NBC is banishing 'Deal or No Deal' to the limbo known as 'hiatus' right after the holidays. Oh sure, the 'geniuses' claim it all had to do with ratings.

Right. As if any show on Friday nights stands a chance of getting decent ratings. AND, someone decided to give my show the time slot opposite 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?' Apparently no one considered...oh I don't know - that perhaps scheduling a game show opposite a game show might split the viewers between the two programs? (Way to go, geniuses.)

Also, what the hell ever happened to our second weekly time slot? The show was SUPPOSED TO air on Wednesday night as well. Apparently someone thought a show with a talking car was more worthy of that slot. Yes NBC, you may be getting advertising dollars prominently featuring a car manufactured by Ford NOW. But those advertising dollars will quickly disappear if Ford's bail out falls through - mark my words.

(All right, I'll confess I do know the original Wednesday time slot is now occupied by that show 'Life' not 'Knight Rider' but a show with a talking car is much easier to make fun of.)

The show used to air on Mondays right before 'Heroes' but apparently some spy spoof show called 'Chuck' ended up with that slot. Last I checked, 'Deal or No Deal's' ratings were higher than that show, by the way. Perhaps NBC might have gotten some more advertising dollars if that show actually took place at Best Buy, but then given the current retail market, maybe not.

Although...the ratings slide may be due to one other factor. Someone (actually TWO SOMEONES) finally won the million dollars this season. The one thing that never happened finally did. And now perhaps the viewing public feels they've now seen everything the show could offer.

I say - not yet. Neither of the winners took home the top prize on a standard board. Both of them had multiple million dollar case games. Now should someone ever do that then yes, you the viewer have in fact seen it all.

It was bound to happen eventually with all those 'Million Dollar Missions' and whatnot. They (the NBC geniuses) were so desperate to have some win the top prize, they stacked the deck in the contestants' favor.

Hmph.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count (excluding ooc notes): 394

Oh it's far too easy for me.

Every contestant who fills out an application for the show tells a little bit about him or herself. And these contestant hopefuls tend to make a foolish choice of mentioning any sort of phobia they have.

I'm not sure why. Perhaps they think such their phobias are unique enough to capture the attention of the contestant coordinators.

In any event, the contestant hopefuls seem to forget one tiny little thing - their applications are also read by me.

I tend to have a bit of fun with this information. One contestant mentioned she had a fear of snakes. So one of the models that works for me came out with a briefcase with a live snake in it. It amazed me how far she jumped back after it was opened.

Then there was that redneck with the fear of spiders. I didn't even have a live spider this time. Just a plush on in clear box that I lowered on a table in front of the contestant. She screamed loudly and refused to go anywhere near the table until I took the box away.

I realize snakes and spiders are common phobias. But there was one contestant a couple of years ago who had a rather unique one - a fear of Big Bird.

I do not know how anyone can be afraid of a children's show Muppet, but he was. And guess who came to cheer him on? That's right. Big Bird himself. The look on that contestant's face ws priceless indeed.

There are other instances where I have used contestants' fears against them of course. But those are three of my favorite moments.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count: 282

Unless you've been living a cave, then you no doubt have heard of the recent troubles with the stock market. There have been proposals by our government to rescue some of these troubled firms such as AIG.

President Bush is to address the nation this evening at 9PM to speak about his plan to assist the economy.

I'll bet there were quite a few of you out there that just whined "But the new fall shows just started! He's cutting into a new episode of [insert show title here]."

If you believe an episode of 'Criminal Minds' on CBS or 'Til Death' on FOX is more important than our economy then you need to get your priorities straight right now. Those shows can wait to air. As well as...let's see, ABC has a David Blaine special on and NBC has those hacks performing on 'America's Got Talent.' Again, nothing that should take priority over a financial CRISIS.

I do somewhat share the sentiment that the President's proposal is a bit of a joke though. A $700 billion dollar bailout? $700 BILLION?! That is insanity, if you ask me. There is no way that bill will be passed.

Especially if some of those firms are guilty of fraud. Did you hear- the FBI may invest AIG, Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac.

All this makes my head hurt. And all of these reports of fraud and bailouts passing or not passing are making the market rise and fall drastically by the day.

Something needs to be done, yes. But let's get our heads out of the clouds (or out of our asses) and propose something within the realm of reality.

And soon, before Wall Street implodes.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count: 284

That's something I think is growing on me as I get older: happy endings." -- Alice Munro (Bringing Life to Life)

Apparently, the thought of 'happy endings' is also something network executives think about as well. I'm not sure what else to call the recent rash of Million Dollar Missions and other gimmicks we've had. Those gimmicks were merely created in order to have someone go home with the show's top prize.

(Of course, I would not consider that event a 'happy ending' but the 'geniuses' at NBC would.)

So far, every single attempt has failed thanks to me. Even those contestants fortunate enough to pick a million dollar case were persuaded to take an offer of a lesser value.

I'm quite impressed with my record of games without a single million dollar winner. (Nearly 250 games in the show's three seasons, in case you were wondering.)

Alas, sadly at SOME POINT during season four, my streak ends. I am not allowed to state when of course. (I have to obey the confidentiality clauses of my contract.) Also, that is not an event I would like to talk about much. (I'll merely mention it when it happens and move on.)

I suppose if I look on the bright side, some foolish contestant did leave with our show's lowest prize of one penny.

Thank you Heather McKee. You brought about what I consider to be a happy ending.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count (excluding prompt text): 216

I firmly believe that the only way to achieve anything in this world is to work hard. While life may on occasion provide a bit of luck, truly, the only way to get ahead is to work.

Do not whine about how hard life is all the time! Get out there and DO something about whatever situation you've found yourself in.

I worked hard and now can enjoy the finer pleasures of life. (I must say, it's wonderful to be wealthy, having the chance to stay in a luxurious hotel in Paris, France.)

No one gave me anything to achieve this lifestyle. I did it all on MY OWN. Being successful in life is possible after all.

*ponders for a moment*

Let's see...what else do I believe in...

Well, I do believe in honesty. In fact I never 'sugar coat' how I feel about someone. If I don't like them, I let them know EXACTLY how I feel. Some feel this is a bit harsh of me but, as you may imagine, I really do not care what people think of me.

And while I'm on that subject? Allow to me to honestly say that the thought of giving away a million dollars next season is quite unpleasant. But alas, it's true...

However, I will not think about that at the moment. I will instead return to enjoying the finer pleasures of where I'm staying.

That reminds me - there's a lovely gourmet restaurant nearby that I've been meaning to visit.

Au Revoir!

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count: 253

Our season finale featured a contestant named Brandy Brown who had her own 'unique' hairstyle that she dubbed "the rockin' rullet."

She claimed it was her tribute to two styles of 1980's - the rock and roll bangs in the front and the mullet in the back. I wish I could make this up, but it is the honest truth. In fact, allow me to provide photographic evidence of this (quite frankly bizarre) hairstyle.

( The Rockin' Rullet )

I also assure you, this is an actual image. It has not been 'Photoshopped' in any way to alter her real hairstyle.

You know, during the three seasons of the show, we have had models in pink afro wigs, turkeys running about on the stage, Stormtroopers holding the briefcases, sound proof booths, dunk tanks...

(That list could go on much, much longer but I would drift horribly off topic.)

The point is, after all of the insanity we've had on the show, I thought I had seen everything.

I guess not.


Anyway...

I sincerely hope Ms. Brown will take part of that $28,000 she won (her in-game implosion amused me greatly, by the way) and get her hair styled by someone with proper training.

She probably won't though.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count: 201